Sunday, December 16, 2012

Is that the finish line I see?

I am so tired.  I spent seven hours today writing my economics dossier. And yes, I left it until the last minute. I do feel good about having finished it, but my entire body is in revolt.  Everything that can hurt, does hurt.  And I've been getting mild, but frequent bouts of angina.  I only have 2 more exams, though, and then school is done.  It will be such a relief to just work, and not have to worry about essays, projects and homework calling to me from the depths of my school bag.  Having said that, I am proud of the work that I have done over the past few months.  It's been a good semester, especially considering the fact that I entered it totally intimidated by the courses I was going to take. Economics? Geography? Seriously?  On Friday, I found out that so far, my economics average is 85%.  How is that even possible?  I do know that I feel much more comfortable with the subject than I did when I started.  I've learned stuff that I didn't know, and that's always a good thing.  That was the point.  The marks are just a bonus.

I wanted to write about the shootings in Connecticut, but I am not emotionally or mentally prepared to. I am so tired, I feel like anything I say will just be about me and my reaction to what happened, and that just feels selfish at this point.  I am deeply sad.  Too sad for words.  That's about it.

Oddly enough, my dear reader friends, I feel like I miss you.  It's odd, because I don't even know who most of you are.  But I have gotten used to sharing myself with you, and you are all such good listeners!  I pray for you all, because I know that God knows who you are.  And please feel free to drop me a line, ask questions, let me know what you think.  My email address is markelacie@gmail.com . If you are new here, I don't allow comments on this blog because of some disturbing anonymous comments I received in the past, but I absolutely welcome your input, or simply a hello.  Then, I get to say hello back to you!  If you send me a question or comment that you would like to have answered on the blog, I will absolutely do that, too.

I hope that you know how important you are, dear reader.  Writing can be a lonely endeavor, and posting my thoughts and feelings here is only part of the equation.  What I write here is only complete when you read it. You don't have to agree, or like what I say.   The gift that you give me, every time I muster up the courage to give myself to these pages, is the absolute wonder of knowing that you have heard my voice.  I pray that you, dear reader, are also enjoying the loveliness of being heard, in which ever way you speak your life into this world.  Maybe you sing. Maybe you cook, or fix cars, or build things, or paint, or garden...there are so many ways to share ourselves with the world.  And tonight, I am so grateful that you have allowed me these opportunities to share myself with you. I am honored.

And now, it is bedtime.  Sweet dreams, my friends.


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